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Swim Lake News Herald, v. 1, no. 1, Wednesday March 17, 1965 to v. 2, no. 2, Thursday, April 1, 1965.

Author:Swim Lake News HeraldPublished:1965Type:Yukon NewspapersMARC Record:PAC MARC RecordDownload PDF:Swim Lake News Herald.pdf (22565 KB)
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Frc-- L U \ ^T^ 3 2400 0000 2502 T 3240000002502 1 2L É L U S £'CO. 32400000025027 SWIM LAKE NEWS HERALD Wednesday March 17, 1965 Vol. 1 #1 KULAN RETURNS Members of the Dynasty Exploration crew were out to greet the arrival of Alan Kulan today,who drove in From Whitehorse in the company Willys pickup, Kulan was accomp­ anied by William Carson and his wife Leaçnew arrivals to the citv from Teslin Y.T.(see Social Page) Kulan reports two near tradgedies which were narrowly averted by his q^ick action and ability. Apparent­ ly he failed to negotiate two sect­ ions of the Canol Road whilst driving in yesterday. Fortunately he suffered no injurieé and the vehicle is rep­ orted to have not been damaged. He was not wearing a seat belt, R.C.M.P. say they will not investigate....yet. ST. PATRICKS DAY FETE PLANNED Today is St. PatrickTs day and celebrations are planned tonite |-§ai€d§f tRigc W ï R ÿ a£tiî&? A raison brew was made this morning by Jack Ladue who rep­ orts that it should be ready to Thit the shuteT by nine oTclock tonite. All are invited to the celebration,at this time however the address for such is not available.* N.C. MECHANIC LEAVES BRAGA UPSET. M. Braga, local cat operator is said to be displeased at the conduct of the N. C. mechanic who left the city today. î=/t#i ' i said Braga, apparently.the mech- anic ha(i left without completing his duties. Braga now has to tighten four bolts and fix the geebosprocken by himself, the job should be finished within five days says Braga. LOCAL SCHOLAR Local scholar R.E.G. Davis told the Swim Lake News Herald today that St. PatrickTs day originated in Ireland. Mr. Davis went on further to say that St. P-trick was made a saint because of his duties carried out while exterminating the local Irish poulation of snakes. Some doubt was expressed as to the accuracy of this statement but Davis said that this must be true because as far as- he knew there were no snakes left in Ireland today. SPORTS FINAL Brock and Davis are still in the midst of the semi-finals of the push-up tour­ nament. So far Davis is leading, having done 31 push uos to Brocks 29. At the last match however a protest was levied by Brock who claimed that Davis was cheat­ ing by getting a re-bound action off his protruding stomach. No comment was offered by Davis at the time. The tournament still continues. SOCIAL HAPPENINGS MrPfnS^s d swëPêfrso £° f §&Tt BRASS ISSUE WARNING The company management today issued a warning to all men that foul language and disorderly conduct will not be tolerated. The arrival of Mrs. William Carson to the city has initiated the program for a much needed improvement insofar as swearing, spitting, dirty clothes, certain procedures adapted while blowing the nose, noise and general eti^uet. It is a well' known f- ct that her ‘ husband in the past has shown that he will not tolerate such doings. Teslin. The Carsons plan to take up residence here while Bill starts on His new job as master mechanic for Dynast Bill has had much experience j in this field, last year he was with Dynasty as a cat skinner but spent much time repairing equipment for t - e company. HOWEVER....he sure didnTt repair the boots that his dog Rufus chewed a hole in, R.C.M.P. are investigatin HEAR FRED DEPARTMENT Dear Sir, is it true, that certain foods make some oeople feel more amorous. T Bachelorr Bachelor, Tfyev say that about a number of edibles, but donTt get your hopes un. ITve been eating the items in question BEAVER ARRIVES IN A.M. A Beaver aircraft arrived Jhis morning at Swim Lake. J. Fairley was out to meet the plane in hope of getting some Tsweety letters1.Later" four men managed to auel the still struggling man and freed him from the depths of his sleeping bag. His cond­ ition is reported as TfairT, First aid man Harman says it .is' often common to exp- @Pl@Rce shock because of" , potatoes, onions oysters and other shellfish’ for veard"^'"’ Nstancefone frag- l Rei about as usual. Howeyeryyou might m6nt of letter was reCoW?ed think about what Bnllat-Savarin said about fom Fairlev,s raouth on it tne truffle:"ine orufile is not a positive was written ....Father won’t aphrodisiac,- but it mav under certain circ- soeak to me umstances render women more affectionate and Ed. ïhe Rbove*title was men more amiable." iruxfies are globose missprinted ,it should read whatever that is, brown , black sandy and STORK instead of BEAVER. warty. The taste of truffles has been like- -------------------- --------- ened to that of strawberries, garlic, flannel and unclassified. Some SV/IM LAKE NEV7S HERALD Thursday March 16, 1965 HARMAN CONDUCTS MERCY MISSION Andrew Harman, prominent Jack of AllTrades around the City is reported to be speedily making his way towards Grew Creek , this news was recieved as the Herald went to press* Harman is recognized as one who takes human interest to heart and that is why he is now on his way to bring the wife and children of Jack Ladue back to the safety and confines of Swim Lake City* It has been rumoured that Harman also takes a good three day brew to heart as well* Further information will be made avail­ able to the public when Harman stumbles back to his home in a few days,maybe. ______ Vol 1. i t2 McKAY MOURNS LOSS Still badly shaken, Clarence McKay related to reporters to­ day the events that led to the theft of the bottom part of his thermal underwear* Says driller, McKay,111 donTt know why society should let such a thing happen.” Apparently the TbottomsT had recently been overhauled and washed and were left to dry on a clothes line situated somewhere in the confines of Dynastyfs dry* McKay returned later to find that the garment SPY RING CRACKED BY CITY SLEUTH The appearance of a mystery ma around the city was missing, in its place was has been solved,posing as a worker from a rival j left a similar object but 20 outfit, this man played upon the sympathy of Dynasty officials and gained the use of the Company Bombadier* Through diligent tracking of hard to recognize Bombadier tracks it was found that the man had worked his way to the rotary drill rig and was busy bribing the young sampler with candy and cigaretts in an attempt to gain information as to recent drill results obtained by Dynasty. He was discovered when Ken Ullmer found the sampler retching an assortment of candy down the bore-hole of SRH 2. The spy will be handed over to proper author­ ities, it is understood that he will be charged under the Pure Foods act. sizes smaller. The missing pants are valuable to the driller in a sentimental way as they had been passed down to him through four gen­ erations.” I would not miss them so much if they had not been originally owned by my great, great great uncle Max. Uncle Max wore the same Tbottomsf while fighting under General Sherman.” The Tbottoms1 are survived by the *topsr, it is understood that there is a reward offerdd for their recovery. GOOD WORK SAYS OFFICIAL Good work said a Dynasty o ficial as he handed Lome VanWhoosits a small gold bucket at a special ceremony held in the honor of this dedicated Bull Cook. Lome VanWhoosits is a member of the International Brotherhood of Bull Cooks, local 456. During the short time he has worked for Dynasty it was estimated that Lome hauled 4,567 buckets of hot v/ater and 5,99$ buckets of cold water to the kitchen from unknown sources. He also has washed 6,964,733 square feet of floor and 5,001 feet of eèê± ceiling and it is said that once in a while he even went outside and washed a few trees. dPürT"S“1v IML .. At a meeting of the Swim Lake Jock Club last night Davis was overuled in his Proposal that a tennis team be organized to rep­ resent Swim Lake at next rears Davis Cup Final. l.S.G. Davis denied that :here was any connection between himself and the /orld famous tournament. Braga and Meikle were 'oundly applauded at the suggestion that a hockey club be organized. Braga kindly offered the use of DynastyTs $-E TcatT for Sr, and Mrs. William Carson have now settled into thier modest new ranch style house at #2 Nigger Head Crescent. The new house is a real success, says Bill, its the kind of ranch house one would expect to find on a homestead one month old situated forty miles from the nearest road. The Carsons will hold a house wanning party later this week. Brock says that he will hold several house warming parties every night if he is allowed to bring his TwifeT to the City. UNCLE HAROLDr S HISTORY LESSON John C. Calhoun, famous American statesman,was born in South Carolina on March 16,1702. He v/as vice- president under John Quincy Adams and also under Andrew Jackson. He v/as a powerful orator and did all he could to bring on the war of 1612, durins* uynasuys «ws 'cat' ror j which the British captured Washington and burned the eompiete r-^va1 of down the White House. Many amusing Anecdotes are snow from Swim Lake. Brook told of Calhoun. For instance-v.’ ell, I was «oint' has already approacned |to say that he once exclaimed:"I would rather be tne Company in concern |right than President" but that seems to be Henry lth the purchase of 3 Clay. And 13m Afraid it was Denial 'Webster who 7 I composed his great speeches while fishing. Any- •v/ay, CalnounTs handwriting was terrible, or was that Horace Greeley? dozen pairs of skates and 241 hockey sticks, no mention v/as made about the purchase of pucks. ^LÇâglFIED ADDS' 9 g f e M t rn!!lgè§?y For Sale; 2 used dogs, see Peter Sydney, any time after sometime. SWIM LAKE Friday March 19,1965 NEWS HERALD Vol i . J L » #3 •form according United. Meikle ??I am a . deaf mute , please help me to David Meikle says that the left DYNASTY DISCOVERY SHAKES WORLD OF ARCHEOLOGY J*B. French changes world history. John B. French, senior sampler and well known prospector has helped unearth what he himself tenus *a most amazing thing*. It is now common knowledge that Dynasty Explorations Ltd. was not searching for base metal sulphides of eco­ nomic grade but has been busy conducting an intensive study of the Vangorda Area in order to prove a theory of Dr.A.E. Aho, company pres­ ident. Dr. Aho has always believed that the Greeks were the first to inhabit the Yukon, unable to convince the scientific world of his theory he studied geological engineering and later formed Dynasty Explorations. Funds for archéologie investigations were raised by selling stock in this ’mining exploration venture*. The most economic way to look for ancient relics of a lost empire is to drill,says Aho. By using a rotary drill,chip samples may be obtained and then glued together to give the origihal object, such as it looked back in 406 B.C. John French has just finished gluing to­ gether the first statue, a few chips are missing because of the sampling method employed but now that this has been perfected the next statue should be in good shape says French. This first statme has a chip off its shoulder he mentioned. Aho says all Dyne sty shareholders are very happy about the discovery. At first some were a little concerned but now they all realize the investment was ’well worth itf,some even said that money is not everything and they are glad Dr. Aho has shown them that a contribution to the world of archeology is better than a million dollar personal capital gain. The first statue as shown is incomplete in , archeologist in disguise as a party chief for hand should be holding a placard saying, find my clothes5 *. •EAT PAPER,CHEAP + . Dynasty Explorations proposes w 0 charge John 3. Brock for freight, because of the large number of newspapers and per­ iodicals he subscibes to. A. Kulan says that sometimes as much as 201bs. of the Beaver pay load will be comprised of papers for Brock. Brock has expressed dis- : approval by not letting any­ one else read his papers. He does this by cutting them up as he reads them and then eating the pieces. Dynasty is actually making __ money on this deal as often Brock is unable RESIGNATION OF WELL KMONN CITY MAN The managment of Dynasty Exploration regret to announce the acceptance of the resignation of Lome VariV/hoosits.. Lome, or Packsack as he was affectionately known by his close friends stated that he was forced to leave the company because of some grease burning in his pockets or something,anyway Drisdan didn’t help whatever it was. Packsack was interviewed as he boarded the plane. His final statement to the press was. T T Yes sir,HA,Ha huh HA Exercise'caution.... David Meikle has asked that persons using the public fa ci lit i e s b e h i nd Re g * s restaurent,exercise the meal. ; caution usually requir- to eat his regular Tne only cost is for a little :®d wrien carrying out catsup occassionaly, this apparent- procedures common to ly helps thicker magazine covers tne building so prov- go down with a little more. ease . idea.A * growing* go t ta. . . go . H 0. . HQ_. JiAWJU___ CLASSIFIED ADDS Personal Eligible bachelor s g e 2 7 , i nt e re s t e d in finding out what lera is apparent and proo- w i l l kind of girl would answer an add like this, object matri­ me ny « ! c o n t i n u e t o * g ro w * u n 1 e s s ; certain parties sit down I p ro p e r 1 y a n d wo rk i t o u t ♦ SWIM LAKE NBWS H3RALD Saturday March 20,1965 Vol 1. I QUIDS GETS RECORD CIT CROCODILE NEAR CUB LAKE ***??&! IP Ml Andrew Harman currently engaged in a hunting exped­ ition around the Cub Lake- area has shot what he claims to be *a goodly sized croc?* The trophy will be sub­ mitted to the Boone and Croc Club for measurement* The Boone and Croc Club was formed in order to record any trophy sized crocodiles shot in North America* Most residents of the area#" did not know that excellent jfc , crocodile hunting is to be found in many parts of the Yukon. Tracks were reported last year in the vicinity of the Sea area but were not investigated to any great extent* ; 5 A - 'M f • " . v « K MW* i .,i ï , ... A. a : L ' ?,L t l A Üsije* Two Ross River guides, Peter Sydney (left) and J&ck Ladue (right),(crocodile is center), show bff Harman1s latest troohy* GIRLS, GIRLS, GIRLS trophy, HEW DRILLING METHOD DEVELOPED BY LOCAL ?}I?ve got it made” says driller* A revolutionary method of rotary drilling has been developed by Ken Ullmer. During the process Yesterday all the elegible of * dryf drilling IJiimer best the dust problem bachelors underwent palpa- by operating the controls with a short piece of rope, rations of the heart*as* the rope gradually grew longer and after the drilling two of the girls from Ross was converted to water Ullmer didn*t return to the River strolled through controls but got himself a longer piece of rope* He camp. Shirts and ties were then was able to operate the drill from the warmth donned as a nord of babl- of the sample shack, his helper however had to re- ing man crazed by the sigh main out in the cold in order to give a warning in t of female persons,swarm- case the party chief arrived. ed from all parts of the Ullmer now has ordered approximately 5,000 feet of: city with the hopes of rope and plans to test the feasibility of operating the rig from his bunk at the Dynasty Base camp. If this works says Ken, «the possibilities are unlimited I may be able to be in Whitehorse, Calagary or Ciaro ,just by jerkin* the Tol rope the ?oi rig will jus keep goin * on down* If any little troubles come reigning Felly River Valleyup my helper, Jo, can send me a telegramU Queen of the Spruce, were NO SUNDAY SERVICE conversing amiabley with the two beauties. Mary Sydney,1963 Ross River Summer Festival Queen and Hazel Peter, this years glad to recieve such a warm welcome. Mary and Hazel said they could hardly wait to get bock to Ross and tell the rest of the girls about the new drive in theatre that will be built in the city. They said that ent­ ertainment for most of the people at Ross is lacking, it was hoped that £ 0 have a car-wash this The minister of the SWIM LAKE TABERNACLE OF ALL SIN* NSR3 PLANNING TO GET TO HEAVEN BEFORE THE DEVIL GRABS THEM BY THE COAT TAILS says, there will be no church tomorrow. This is because the turn- Lake to Ross River are out last Sunday was so planned for to-morrow* bad that the church clans There will be fifty-two tails and maybe even some other articles of thei r clothing. MARCH 21 PARTY Gala celebrations includ­ ing a parade from Swim parking space for dogs and toboggans would be provided as well as for the occassional tent* «Room space for intents Sunday in order to raise funds that were lacking in the collection plate last Sunday c . •of the Sunday before* nd for part would be nice” said the «It i s i nd e a d a s h am e: ;, Reg*s Res two girls. said the minister of the take Auto SHIM LAKE TA/MANACLE OF banglers SUNDAY SERMON ALL aIKNEAE ■ ' LAN; LEG TO and The S' Do not let thyself utter GET Y‘ 0 kEAY A AFORE TEE Herald, A foul words as those that DEVIL r \ \ ■ ' " » { \ ; \ m ' \ r i • 7 1 « v . j * i . i j 0 1 . : L . . D 1 . . . ; $ . : i * decorate • floats in the parade, among them will be entries from United Geophysical, Dyna. s ty Exp 1 o ra 1 1 o ns Geo log! c De pa rtment, Dvna s’ taurent, Swim no ay, Drill have done so have felt their lips wither and rot as well as their tongues lry and shrivel to dust. one would. almost think zehub and hi graoceti. a x e congre a:a chet Bovi­ na rd s had *ew of our ;n bv the eoa Emaxes shou 1 d their bikes as a orize for the best look­ ing bike will be awarded at Rosa River. There will also be a bicycle snow L -h x - - j C- vy j . ; {.J RE 0 t ) i 1 ^ SWIM LAKE HERALD SATURDAY PICTORIAL r ; v ■ ■ ■ j ' V R ÂAEI ■ ■ v xoos^if . - * E m m h# t o f e : : / v X . - : f l * w • ; ■ • ■ i “ ; : i » X j U * 4 r .. ' . s \ P i® V .v -V : . • ï «SURE, SURE DAVIS, I WOW DRILLING WITH WATER IS OKAY, BUT YOU SEE THE SAMPLING PROCEDURE.... » a M x t ' fi j p m M tw ■ % . f l ! , TVf : J ■ v ' R . : " .-m 1 , rrr-r? rg - V' 3 X 0 t ê J e m ^ V - » M M W & - X ' 1 ' " ' W : ; ; i ^ ■ ■ ; r IvY r’iwaV'/i A T . ■ - ' ■ ' ’’ •V ‘ • L.A V . ’••• - . «I KNOW THAT LOG C, DP THE DRILL HOLE BUT IT X X ?f FIT IN • : ? 2 - V J r v C r ; - s Ji MY GOLD PAN» THE ROSS RIVER M.P. "HOPE YOU FELLAS DON*? MIND ME USING YOUR DRY FOR A MINUTE1 * Y- r : ^ !... o'vÿA R -'■•:•. ho | S % i T' - . À % - % ■ ^ _ ■ ■ j If ■ s § m r -p: - L 0-3- ■ - ■ - r ; f rr o I r O ¥ : 1 OLAY BROCK, DID YOU SET THE ROTARY RIG Or FIRS• OR DIDO*? YARN* EG XT IF KERR AD DIGS 01: DON*? 'X 0 0 . ) THEIR DRILL RIG, YOU * RE XT? I -VO PAID FOR IT AREN * T YOU» 3 RIM LA K E H E v /8 H &R A L . U Monday March 1965 Vol 1* #5 UNLOADING MADE EASY Some consternation was expressed by officials of Dynasty Explorations in concern with the method to be adopted for unloading the compressor brought in by White Pass for United Geophysical. A White Pass truck driver applied much originality in developing what is thought to be a relatively new unloading technique insofar as com­ pressors go. Although it was tried a little prematurely it was indeed effective. The method consisted of jack­ knifing his trailer on a steep hill a few miles away from camp. The com- GONS FISHING NO DRILLING The boys must have some recreation said David Meikle* Therefore every Sunday it is planned that something different from ordinary drilling be done. Last Sunday we all went fishing he said, as well as being good exercise for the men it developes their appreciation of general values. No large catches were made, but a good time was had by all, picnic lunches were provided by Reg * s and many others dropped in to join with the happy crowd. EDITORIAL The other day most of the men were either sleeping or working out in the field so I decided to take the oportunity of pressor tipped neatly over and floated going through some of their personal gently to the ground to lie on its side.  D 7-E ?cat* was then used to place it back on its wheels after which it 'was dragged, on its wheels, into the city. MORE PEOPLE FROM TESLIN It is rumored that a new- man is and has come to the city to keep an eye on Bill Carson. Some have said that the new arrival is Carson*s younger brother who was sent here by his mother in order to make sure that Bill wonft be cruel to his dogs. belongings. As I had a few hours on my hands I did a pretty thorough job, after a while I became aware of a m extraordinary amount of literature hidden away amongst many of the men * s persona1 effects, I was both shocked and disgusted to see that a great majority of their reading . , . „ r - j i • material consisted of ?pulu * magazines in camp, apparently ne is irom iesxinf m e d with fiction of ooor taste. Such * \ w ^ s* w « - v • b * i - \ r a- W" . - w r\ ■ v w A pages I hea never read before, pages full of lurid scenes, torrid affairs of passion and descriptions of the private lives of obviously *sick* persons filled with the desire for lust and uglyness. My first reaction was to collect all NEW COOK COMING FOR of this trash and burn it in a giant bon- DYNASTY FLY CAMP fire but I didn*t. I have decided to make -pan appeal to all the victims who have LJppop'j ? . y; j A|- |falien by the literary wayside and succumbed 1 * {to the degeneracies of the world of *True • I {Confessions *, * For Men Only* and ?The Illustrated Encyclopedia of Sex*. Unite wit* j me tomorrow, bring with you your libraries yj| of lust and we will destroy them together. ! Later I will be able to distribut among aj you some selections from the Misters, we || will all study these and perhaps seminars j can be held to for instance, bash about fTy some ideas on Ke&tes. I have some jolly fine ihJj things written by Browning as well^ When things go v.-rong on the job, it is both glorious and wonderful to behold men standing quietly around their broken eouip- ' | ment and bantering light quins back and ** forth from the works of Shakespeare. Instead of thoughts racing madly through their minds such as”.... through the moonlight I could see her running to me, our lins met, madly, MR. Y.O. Forier will arrive in one week in order to start his duties as chef at Harman * s Resort and part time Fly Camp. ?Y.O *, as he is j affectionately s 0 known by people who have not tasted his epi- curian delights wa s delighted at the prospect; of leaving his post as chef at ÎSèéési t.... r a iwmm m ‘ .. - W V ! Akti ■ Ih-MvllT m % :M : O: A" ' H t g : . , 1 - ■ "V \ \ I T \ \ \ \ Y. O. FORIER, Longchamps in New York and joining the staff of Dynasty Explorations. ....v .^._. - , „ , . . . . , - Y.O. is a master of all gastronomical^ / Alon j.n&une aesire i.... 1 1 preparations from Liptons Instant Soup to instant stew* He is pictured here with his world famous collect­ ion of cookbooks. A News Herald rep- o r t e r . s w e a r s t h a t t b e c o v e r s a r e r ; i s s 1 e a c i i n g, a c t ua 11 y t r e y a r e n o t cookbooks but bound editions of Playboy Magazine. MUSIC A recital in the will be held by Mr night at 8:30. Mr. Fairley is a known master of the mandolin an Swim La. ke Bi j o u J. F. Fa i r 1c . • y t o - oil h “ Go3 UP YOUR CAT oil Uatipiliar■ bull dozers fueled with gas- ,ne will DOssibl o y co ntribute to whnt may bo now 3 unday S p o r t s 3 p e c t a c u 3 . ,ar’ « A. trial run \ : a ;00c e with a ysf d un c?t on the Pel " 1 A / :xi vor Roa d, The thro tie wa. o 0 p oned, f o r■1;y f e at of •growror steel laid nd ? c l cu­tour mile run i n ten seconds. The mot o r rt: n v . - , n oxt v\r: two m lies through ar area of he avy t - o r e : . ' onlv to 00 b OU lilt to £ stop two1 vC 8 o c ■ o rid s lot or by s rock b luif * been made famous by his renditions of ouch well ka own t I f wo rx s Go o a v c - U ' - i ‘ « ■ S SWIM LAKE &SR7 S HERALD 0Y* Tansday March 23, 1965 STRIKE PLANS ANNOUNCED R.E.G. Davis, exeloration manager for Dynasty Explorat­ ions announced yesterday that a strike vote will be held amongst members of his staff* Persons employed directley in.the field of mining expl­ oration are and have been protesting against the living accomidations in which they are housed. A representative of Local 24A. Federation of Field Work­ ers, spoke to the press. "Its terribiey he said, "the walls are unpainted,there are no carnets on the floors and heating is provided by a furnace right in the same room that one is expected to live in* We have investigated and found that there is not even one flush-type disposal Vol. 1, #6 NEEDLE MAN MAKES GOOD Jo Lehmann, drillers assistant, says all versons planning to go into the drilling business should apprentice in a needle factory* Jo did when he was in Germany and he attributes this to his succès in the rotary drilling business. "Handling drill rods is like heaving around big needles" savs driller Jo. "If you happen to loose a drill rod somewhere in a haystack they are easier to find than a needle as wellI He also has said that looking for an orebody in this country should be about as easy as finding a drill rod in a haystack. He failed to comment on the dimensions of the haystack. ANNIVERSARY PARTY FOR NEWSPAPER STAFF Tomorrow the Swim Lake New Herald will be one week old. The editor offered his congratulations to the staff of reporters, junior editors, photographers, copy boys, columnists setters, printers, secretaries janitors, truck drivers, men. An office party will ees of the newspaper for , type receptionists, system for sewage*.1 HUNTING LESSONS A, Harman reports that his lessons in game id­ entification and track­ ing are progressing very well. He is person­ ally instructing two men from Ross River. So far they have had basic tracking, Lesson I, pliars, 9 Brunton compasses an j game identification 456 tins of concentrated (Intermediate). When juice, 677 pounds o 1 grow- + g rie two men graduate in ser steel, one Willys pick two months they should up truCiC page 2, see Gaoup be real *Davy Crockets*. paper boys, and garbage be held for all employ- their fine work. DENIES VICIOUS MOUNTAIN OF LOOT FOUND A tree cache was found by M. Braga aged 21 while he was constructing a . road near Cub Lake. The supp­ orting tree was knocked over and the cache fell to the ground. It contained 19 pairs of needle nosed ] U. i . . . . NEW BUSK VEHICLES SLATED FOR DYNASTY The Dynasty transport division has announced that the cornuany has recently purchased one dozen * BRUSH BUGGIES’. The vehicles are similar to those in the picture above but do not feature the popsies that are maneuvering the Buggies along the trail* However the common^ is nleased to mention that each vehicle comes complete with a set of Arnold Palmer #3 special golf clubs* The golf clubs should be useful for digging the buggies out of the muskeg after breakup* TOWN TALK Rufus and Dixie are going together again..* where to this ti-e à1? Elmer has been seen sad,sad faces, must have lost some bearings you know WHO, he has been seen chasing HER the River for forty miles but some people n dr^ again fellas, babv bottles',v.ho done it. BROCK RUMOUR In a formal statement to the press John Sebastian Brock III, denied any knowledge of persons in­ volved in connection with contamination of the air with grease. L. Vanwhoosits was forced to leave the Cit because of a sinus cond­ ition brought about by an excess * grease content* in the atmosphere. CITY MAN SEES PANTHERS A city m-n says he has seen two black panthers. The two panthers have been sighted regular1y by him for the last week. The man is a g ra d ua t e of H a rma n * s Hunting School where he majored in animal identi­ fication, One is a . malè and the other he is not sure about, Plans are be­ ing made to trap the beasts 3 T I M LAKE A.A. GETS GOING The first meeting of the Swim Lake Alcoholics Anom- anous was said to be a real success. There was a good turnout and much business was discussed. TIew business- included plans for a trip to khitehorse, col 1 ecting funds for 200 pounds of raisons and. 75 pounds of sugar as well as copper t u b i n g, o a k b a r r e 1 s, n r e s - o u r e vo. 1 v e 0 a n d g u a g e 5 . , A 1 K u la n i 3 0 j. ■ P n r ■ '.in 1 0 m 0 rroi ■ 7 1 3 a roand town 0 r p 0 rtirr Q n e 0 r tho se a in, . . . H 0 g r a n g , ■ rh a t c bout a p'o. i n , its a 1 0 n r : w '.v t 0 ch a s e U p » ' • ■ y Q r 2 rn. ,* ■* 0 ■ :.n t v hotties In h e « . . 0 k n .v J . c \ y 'i n h a g r. . it? SWIM LAKE iNEWS HERALD Wednesday March 24, 1965 Vol. %. Ü 7 BREAKTHROUGH IN MEDICAL WORLD Dr. Copenhagen has announced that he has finally proven that snoose juice makes one loose. The chewing of snuff, a oopular pastime amongst most young people, is said to be physically harm- full. Dr. Copenhagen has proven this wrong by conducting experiments on different users of snuff around the Yukon Territory. Old and young alike were supplied with ample quantities of snuff and in­ structed to take as much as they could without it interfering with their norm­ al eating habits. The results were tabulated after one year and the following observations made: 1) Snuff can be taken during the meal by inserting it in the upper lip. 2) Snoose juice can be swallowed to give mild and pleasant palpatations of the heart as well as a slightly dizzy sensation. Nausea only means more snuff must be taken as it is a withdrawal symptom. $)Emily Post has recognized the tak­ ing of snuff at dinner parties and all social engagements if the cor­ rect procedures of insertion are followed. 4)Most women feel that snuff should not be chewed during the coarse of Tgood night7 procedures. DRILLERS TO DRILL WITH HAMMER United Geophysical will drill down the hole with a hammer. The hole is SRH #3 and the hammer doesn7t look like a hammer, it looks like a heavy piece of sewage pipe that is all plugged up. United says the down the hole ham­ mer is a good answer for fast drilling Jo Lehman says they never used any hammers in the needle factory but its worth a try. Apparently the hammer goes down the hole and hammers around.lt hammers up and down, occassionally it hammers sideways if things go wrong. If the hammer starts to hammer sideways down the hole then it is time to evacuate because it may start to hammer up after a while and end up anyplace, forinstance the cookshack or some other camp building that is used constantly. They are going to hammer in the morning, evening and all over this land. RED FEATHER All residents of Swim Lake City are kindly asked to donate to the canvas­ ser that calls at their door to-morrow Contributions will be used to help the not so fortunate of our community. Charitable organizations that will benifit from ynur donation are; Society for Owners of Lost Bottoms, Swim Lake A.A.,Down and Out the Hammer Hole Club and Dynasty Explorations Ltd, CHORALE SOCIETY There will be a meeting of all inter­ ested persons who wish to start pract­ icing a few Christmas Carols. Christmas will be here in another nine months and C. McKay,director, says we will have a very pregnant situation unless a few people shape up now and start working over a few Carols for the coming festive season. All those who will sing in the choir will get a free trip to Whitehorse next Christmas Eve for the world famous Carol Concert held every year at the Whitehorse Inn beer parlour. MOVIE REVIEW Last night was the first showing of Tom Jones at the Swim Lake Bijou, it is well worth seeing for those who saw it. That means yon should see it twice since there is nothing else to do in this God Awful Burg. Tom Jones is an old fashioned diamond driller who gets into a lot of trouble. He gets into a lot of trouble with these girls that he makes friends with but his relatives are really rich and tell him to clear out and get a job with some other outfit. Well old Tom Jones hasnTt got a car so he rides around the country on a horse and finally gets into so much trouble with a bunch of waitresses or something that some other diamond drillers string him up on a tri­ pod. He doesnTt die because his forman comes along and saws down the tripod with a powersaw while he is still on his horse. BOOK REVIEW ManTs Illustrated, March 1965, is a book that is realiv worth having a look at. Donft worry if you can7t read very well because all you have to do is look like I said before. Look at page 42 and check out 7Lush Patty Conners7. It says that she is a lush, they also say, 7Patty Conners makes no bones about being a beach scavenger! I think someone has made a mistake because for one thing Miss Patty Conners does not have very many clothes on in some of these pictures on page 42, 43,4^,45 and she most decidedley does not look like a drunken seagull which is what these guys in Man7s Illustrated say. She looks like a D 7 with a ripper on it. Man7s Illustrated should have said 7 Cat Patty Conners makes no bones about tearing up the grass7. SWIM Thursday March 25, 1965 LAKE HERALD Vol 1. #3 NEW KITCHEN SLATED FOR REG’S Reg has complained that customerfs are not taking full advantage of the services he supplies. Reg says,”A few persons do not care for the services of our waitress as shown by their continual jumping up and down from the tables in order to get their own food and drinky Reg went on further to say that one would think these people were brought up in a cafeteria. Reg has already started to modify the kitchen to suooly cafeteria style service in conjunction with the ordinary Tdinning room special’ that he customarily provides to his patrons. Shown in the photograph are the new cooks that will help in the cafeteria,they will sunply a twenty-four hour service for the people that used to make their own sandwiches and jump around in the dinning room. MORE FISHING BUT NOT ON SUNDAY The United crew can11 get enough fishing in when the weather is good says boss Dave Meikle. This time they are only fishing for the rare DOWNTHEHÜLEHAMMER known only to local bedrock. Special tackle is used for this snort. Already the action has been tense, Elmer hooked a large DOWN THEHOLSHAMMER a couple of times but the light sporting tackle would not take the strenuous play offered by the king of fish. Most of the men are now using a Carson #3 lure. Made solely tv Carson it weighs about 35 pounds and spins behind about a three inch diameter 7,000 pound test leader hitched to a Sport Master Kelly Reel. No reports have been recieved catch with this new concerning the equipment. SHOW BI2 A great Swim Lake and Rudy, hit town,coming to PLANE TALK The Beaver FHZ flew in yesterday with lots of mail for everybody. One man was observed weeping uncontrol­ lably behind the ’Dry1. Clutched in his hand were pictures showing what elsewhere sayrthat their routine is great and provides lots of wholesome fun '-■'Kea v , “aT' Wdo "!0n* nc sai 1 new act ha direct from Calgary are Mike well known comedians. The show starts tomorrow and should promise to be full of laughs. Persons that have seen it for all the familly. Apparently the boys come on stage with a metal can that is supposed to be a very sensitive instrument. This is played with for a whi! e amidst much banter and Tom­ foolery. The instrument looks for fish, the boys then plot the location of the big fish on a map and more people join the cast to try and catch the fish by blowing air into the ground and spearing it with big needles. LET LEA ‘ LOVER YOUR EARS Lea has opened the first Swim City Barber shop. Last night there was a long line of customers, some had short hair but wanted a haircut anyway. The faciliti es will be expanded to offer shaves, shampoos, manicures, boot shines and scalp treatments for those with falling hair. LETTERS TO THE EDITOR Dear Sir, Perhaps one of your readers could tell me if there is a police force in Swim Lake City. _ • J L. Rivard Dear Sir, I understand that soon there will be daylight even at night, is this because of the midnight sun? If it does get light at night perhaps you could tell me when. L. Rivard* Dear Sir, If I name a mountain in your area ’Mount Go 1 d wa ter’, wi 11 Ba r rv Go 1 dwa t e r c 1 i m h j t ? L.B.J. Are there any dangerous mountains nart of the countrv? L.B.J, wrong this was the girl his familly had picked for him to marry. He is from Vancouver,aplace where most famillies arrange the weddings for their chil- j dren. As it is in many parts of the world the familly of the prospective bride and groom arrange the wedding and all concerned. , f Now I will have to leave Swim City and get married”, he wailed,”She is the daughter of Herman VanFoldingstuf and v/hen Î marry her I will never be allowed to come back here again,not even to work.Sniff...I will never be allowed to work again,boo hoo...I have to go and live on their dumb estate in Nassau every winter as well. CHIROP RACTOR VEEDED There is room for a. chiropractor at Swim says the town council. The rough roads in the area are causing bad backs and aching joints. Thev are also causing bad tempers, bad vehicles bad feeling, bad words and bad breath* V .S g": J L P . S . vour i n Dear Sir, How big is Swim Lake,when go off it and how deep is o.o es it? the ice G. Griffon (NAHA) No, these men are not chiropractors They are cooks in Reg’s new kitchen for cafeteria service. The men shown here are on right shift and are busy making some sandwiches for the drill crew. The seventh cook from the right is not making sandwiches, he is telling a d irty j o k e to o ne nf his budries, Reg says he v111 be ^Lr:d,ter i i omaw. SWIM LAKE NEWS HERALD Friday March 26, 1965 Vol. 1. #9 N.C. CAT MAN LIKE SUPERMAN A new N.C. CATMAN came back to Swim City, he cannot leap tall buildings at a single bound but he did show that he was more powerful than a locomotive. This was demonstrated when N.C. CATMAN fixed the D 7 with his bear hands. He has bare bear paws with such massive power that he can fix up a transmission without the aid of a single tool, he is equip­ ped with X-Ray vision so that he can look inside a transmission and say "nothing wrong here”. These feats of mighty power do not tire out N.C. CATMAN at all, he can work hard and then talk all night vithout dowing the slightest sign of fatigue. N.C. CATMAN has one weakness, SUPER* MAN fears the dreaded mineral Kriptonite, N.C. CATMAN has also one enemy, the Lynx. A. Harman shot a lynx and when he turned around N.C. CATMAN was racing away like about &4 of the most powerful locomotives ever seen going through the bush at Swim Lake. NEW RADIO NO SPEAK GOOD DynastyTs new radio, purchased for the sum of $1400 bucks has a speach impedement. It often speaks good ordinary Yukon English but some days it clams up and only says crackle...zap..zap...bleep bleep. This is frustrating for the radio operator who naturally tends to feel inferior When he cannot understand some of this high priced talk. The radio is called Single Side Winder and when it feels up to scratcl it can s^eak several languages only each must be spoken sideways. It speaks the language of the Single Side Band at Old Crow best, although it is getting pretty good at Selkirk Band no. 2 from Ross River, TRAGIC ACCIDENT MARS DISPLAY A wonderful display of northern lights was interunted two days ago when Elmer Richert (Is that your last name Elmer?) fell from the tdp of the rig. Elmer was interviewed by reporters from his bedside at Swim Lake Lome Van Whoosits Memorial Hospital. He TO MUCH SUN To much sunshine can cause cancer, so wear lots of clothes when you go outside these days. The reflection off the snow may give you what is known as a TtanT which is the first stages of Galloping Carcenoma. If you smoke and go out in the sun at the same time watch out as vou may end up with pictures of your internals in some medical text-book. If you chew snuff, smoke, go out in the sun and breath air polluted witl grease, then start burning a couple of candles for yourself. By the way when vou do burn the candles, say your prayers a short distance away, candle fumes can cause cancer as well. HAPPY COMPRESSOR PLAYS TUNE A leak in the high pressure hose from the compressor makes a lovely whistling sound that is enjoyed by all. Sometimes the hose whistles out the odd tune.- Ken Ullmer heard it utter a few bars of TDrill was watching the lights when he thought ye Tarriers DrillT the other night, he heard t' em making a noise. He shut John French says the musical hose can off the drill and climbed the drill play many different selections, a’ nong the mast in order to hear them better. more favorite are, The Foggy Foggy C. MacKay said that Elmer was up Sampling Dust, Swing Low Sweet Kelly Bar, there for a while and then started to Go Down Moses, On Top of Old Smokey, and sing Tcatch a falling northern light Silent Night. put it in your pocket save it..T and at that instant g- ve a mighty heave up into the air only to fall to the ground many feet below with badly burned hands. HAS KULAN LEFT WHITEHORSE YET? SPORTS Davis 37, Brock 103 pushups. "Ouch, okay Gord, okay I#ll change it, I»m sorry I said, IT11 change it, the tvpe- writer slipped thats all, woops no room tc The answer to this popular Question around town is NO J Alan Kulan has not left Whitehorse yet, mainly because he is in jail. Kulan was jailed last night and will be charged tomorrow concerning the theft of the relic sternwheeler, Klondike. Kulans lawyer will plead that Kulan was removing the ship in order to aid the development of the base mineral exploration program being carried out in the Swim Lake Area. Kulan was apprehended on the Canol Road while towing the sternwheeler to Swim City on the back of a Tborrowed» White Pass truck. When asked what he planned to do with the once famous vessal he replied that^ he was going to mount it on tracks, move the whole City inside it as well as the drill equipment and all exploration personel and thus keep the Dynasty operations working as an efficient unit. This would save money and be a' cheap cheap operation, all under one roof. Save money he babbled, no loss, cheap. LOCAL SCHOLAR AGAIN .Local Scholar says people eat fish on Friday because fish swim in the sea fish also have fins, the Russians fought the Fins, the Russians don't have a’ Friday so as they are our enemies it is a lot of fun to eat fish on a day that exist for them. does not Saturday marches on sail: lake news herald NEWS GOES MODERN ' The Nevrs Herald has decided to go modern and go sideways since other advanced forms of communication abound the City such as the Single Sidewinder Multibuuks All Purpose Language radio use*.by Alan Kulan to boss his wife around are also sideways....long sentence now ends, The news is now presented side­ ways because the ’herald* has re­ cently purchased a new printing press which is capable of handling these interesting sidelights that are presented to you daily. The press is much bigger than the last one and to the layman it appears to be manufactured out of an old Harley-Davidson motorcycle as well as a few pieces of Kenworth truck. UNITED V,E STON'D SOMETIMES David Meikle says that his company likes to have the men stand up while on trie job,if they are unable to stand then they recieve a warning. If they are caught falling down on the job a second time they are divided from the company. United we stand, divided we fall says Jo. The men were severly repremanded for building what appears to be bleachers or grandstands in front of the drill. Kenneth Ullmer, age 47,said the seats are for R.E.G. Davis to sit on while he waits for sulphides to come to sur­ face. While he sits there he gets all dusty and round from hunching over, we call him TUMBLEV.EED says the United we stand gang. SKONSENG SKIDS IN Edward Skonseng arrived in the city yesterday. *Ted * ,as he is called amongst other tilings by his close friends shook with emotion as he greeted old friends that do not call him Ted. They didn’t call him Ted, they said is that Skonseng’ ’. Ted comes to us from Kayo where he has been a resident since 184b, originally Kayo was named Skonseng by the Stewart, or sometimes Skonsegg on Stewart but the name was changed to Kayo in 1908 beca se Ted was really never on or by the River he .as usually in it.... c na sing *doz leetal two legged cow moose*. Teds arrival at -wim City caused many of the residents to recall old stories about Ted. There was the time when Ted worked at Elsa for United Keno Hill, at tne same time a few women were al o employed by the mine, Ted often spent time in their bunkhouse having a few drinks. One night sort* ov tne girls questioned his ....and then there was the time Ted and...well Ted the City welcomes you here as long as your friends don’t try to burn down sections of the camp such as.... MOTORCYCLE G.iNG FORMED The minister of the Sinners Sink orSwim Lake x».ll Purpose Church has announced that he is forming a motorcycle gang in order to provide recreation for the younger set in Swim City. The club will be called the ’SWIM LAKE GF llVECHEETERS MOTORCYCLE CLUB* and although there are no ’cycles yet the boys will practise every night in order to we ready for the day they can get their bikes. The minister has ordered Hondas for the boys, he himself will have an Aerial square four with Vestern bars, riser pipes, rolled and pleated naugahide buddy seat, chromed scramble fenders and Grasshopper tires. The ooys will get badges for their jacket / o VOL. 1 .K/T") riNING EXPLORATION GETS HOLEY IN THE HEAD. Braga expressed surprise at being told he was to go to Ross River and move a place of worship ..ith his ’cat’. One of the Dynasty officials has heard that the Tamilly that prays together stays together, he says that this little slogan also means ’the stock won’t lurch if you move a church*. It is go­ ing to save us money in the long run says a1 Kulan. COOK’S TOUR Reg, proprietor of tne famous and only eatery in Swim was taken on a guided tour of some of the surrounding country last night, neg says ne is still in tne dark as to «.nere everything is but ta at ne nad a nice ride on tne new Cub County ireeway even if ne didn’t see too much, xieg was very enthusiastic about tne trees lining the xoute, ne said it was nice to see them v.aen the headlights of the truck were aimed towards the sky while the venicle negotiated a few of the unfinished sections of frozen muskeg. if they excel in the fields of chain swinging, spitting, riding their bikes on tne sidewalk with no hands drinking beer at tne same time and smashing win­ dows of tne rival cnurch a ..IK L.JHE tabernacle for the savior of dcln the HOLE HAMMERS. • SUNDAY xiLL DAY TOMORROW Sunday tomorrow and another day of rest for the hard v.orking people of our little community, activities will be varied, the Carson’s say tney will play a little tennis, REG Davis will do push s ups ,n.l Kulan will work on his penny collec "yahooï Payday, buy lotsa raison, make homes rev; « fI'TS GOTTA BE THE waY HE SAYS SWIM LEGE BY * fAun * O i i V ~ 2 * i X ÎT Q 1 EXPECT a . i l i v it shrank* ; YOU BUY J* UNS^NFORIZED D7?" ■ • h' ^ ; - ; . : , / ■ D Hi® sps* ’ B ? . D S o d ' v / ' - ' ÆV-. ■■ r - * Bite l , ME OLOPHYolS LilAT YOU?** T'T L D ' " ' ■ ■ 'Awsf6 ' * , . a • : . ,, , *W‘ S : . . . : . . - , DLD ' ’ ; C “ ' ' ...i l l a ., . . »..XI ......~ «"««•T! rn \ •& - v*-'-*v-p-.-.i w - .* -.* • ;• . . #s*'-■**•'K\ ' u * t 'AA n o u ^ * V i j U j U L . NO*. . d l l I IN ALLY GOT a GGUu Bit/ f A 1 * » a a p ED n T PT r n rp/N ' . * , i . u . ^ w -II A - X j t â. - 4 * v - ' . u lOi Ha \E 1 ü ^B i\X UÜl i xi£ i UxxXj O-xi» H ' i~B ’ * • / %s , i ü i? ^ _t . * . r n "' ' i -v7 *r » T * \ * * * r 1-a.ljnkXO ujU JJ L / i 'i i t X -"xBOLT Lb dl. YIN G . , i u u j . i x i ULIB aD I ix b G ■ i - ■ xhii.»gtôi*u ••. *! Monday,March 29,1965 SWIM LAKE NEWS HERALD Vol. 1, if 11 SAMPLERS CURE FOR GOLD PAN HANDS ’NEWS» SHORT aRD VERTICAL The common drudgery of panning samples --- The 'news’ today is in short--- day after day involves holding the form hut fine form. It is also hands in water for long periods of ----vertical in comparison to our ' time. This leads to the common samplers last issue,this is because the ailment 'Gold Pan Hands'. T. Skonsegg, ~staff of the 'News' likes to 23 year old panner says the natural get a new slant on the different beauty of samplers hands can be retained activities in the City.’The front by a quick and easy method that involves page is short because J.Fairley little practice and no expensive medi- recently donned his chamber-maids cations. 'Pan with your feet' says Ted, outfit and preceded to 'swamp out’ 'Keep dose mitts in your pockets,sit ~ trie office. It was only by good back and let dem feets do the job'. fortune that we managed to find There is no danger of getting 'Panners our printing press inside the stove. Foot' if you «ear a light pair of rubber We fooled John though,his mandolin socks. is now in the stove,tonight he will BUS DRIVER MISTAKEN FOR DOG-CaTCHER really have 'hot fingers'. ^.Kulan is notthe Swim Lake Dog Catcher, SRH $ he operates the Ross River Transit Truck. Dynasty is now on SRH v»the latest Yesterday he arrived in the city with a hole after SRH ,/S.This is be- . . . load of dogs and as a result the paper cause this is the hole'"that is going recieved several inquires as to aI's ___ to drill into the wealth hidden in__ professional status. A1 told us that the Mother Natures Bosoms SRH means dogs paid for their fare,all dogs under - .Shareholders Right Here and 4 means - one year of age naturally paid half-fare, dollars with a capital D. Yes Sir ...... ........ ...folks old SRH i is going to make you - GRAVITY MEN CAN'T HOOF IT rich,for sane of us SRH is going to The United Gravity Crew can't walk be- — make us see snakes the next time we — cause they have been brought up around hit Whitehorse.Snakes Right Here! oil camps where such vehicles as heli­ copters are provided for checking out the RUFUS CARSON RETURNS country. This is why Dynasty is going to Rufus Carson tried to run away much expense in order to clear survey but was apprehended by local auth- lines with a cat. The gravity boys can at orities at the Lapie River, was least drive to each station. One of them Rufus eloping ,escaping from his lost a lot of weight during the first day dominearing Mother,calling the Cops he was in the city because no truck was or trying to elude the Dog Catcher I around to drive him from his bunkhouse to Bus Driver. No one will ever know' ~t Reg's Restaurent. Well boys you can't says his master, Rufus is funny get to Heaven in a truck, or a 'chopper sometimes ,says Bill,he' doesn't like for that matter. to talk about it. SOCIaL PaGE a lot of new faces around town, amongst them are Mr. and Mrs. Mac Peter who came into the city yesterday by bus from their home towm Ross River. The Peters are here to visit friends as well as to look into the possibilitiei of starting a Used Dog Lot. william Peter stopped in for a short stay as well; before continuing on to Cub City where he will join ^ndy narman as assistant ! tractor trailer, we also have Robert Ldsil with us, Bob is glad to be here.._j and says he will stay until the R.C.M.P are abolished in the Yukon. BUSINESS aND FINANCE Personal orders comprise a large portion of our city business. The org-—.-- anization that has gone into this enterprise is great and that is V.ftïle the service provided has reached a high degree of excellency.Often a personal order reaches the city within weeks and can usually be found within a few days of digging and sifting through the muskeg.Few orders- are ever lost,just missplaced in the mud or burned. SWIM LAKE NEWS HERALD Vol 1, #12 Teusday, March 30, 1965 FAIRLEY FIGHTS FEAR AS FINGER FRANGED Shown in the photograph Is John F. Fairley,his com posurè cracked slightly du to shock,sucking his finge His index finger was not injured as one would think from looking at the photo, his little finger on his right hand was hurt.Fai r1e has removed his shirt and put on his football helmet A great believer in do i LEA LEAVES LOVE FOR LABOUR Lea Carson said goodbye to her husband Bill and left for Cub Country where she will use her cooking talents to keep the Dynasty crew there from Contact­ ing scurvey.'I have to 6.8 it, nomatter what the hardships are said Bill’s wife. The pioneer community of Cub County has many hardships to bear but Leas got her rifle with her as well as a couple of rolling pins ana her dog,a visions Labrador. NEW STYLES FOR SPRING yourself medicine, Fairley, his mouth full of bandages, cigarettes,and 292 pills,told the press that as it was his finger Spring has sprung and new it was his responsibility to fix it. The first Spring 1965 garments for the man thing to do is take off your shirt he said,as about the bush are in evidence. then'~Vou don't have to wash blood off any cloth- Driller's. Drill trousers, ing. The football helmet is to protect his head action tailored to look and wear in case he faints and fails over. Fairley is now well for all phases of work are in Whitehorse under the care of Dr. Cal Miliar. EDITORIAL It is with regret that I must point out the shocking disregard for future National Park Land in the area of Swim Lakes, The wanton destruction of natures gems is being carried very popular this se* son amongs1 many of the men about camp. Impeccable in grey and kahki, with or without pleats,these Canadian designed pants by GWC re a 'must' worker. Work for the progressive s hi rt s t ha t wi t h- on day after day as certain mining exolorationsstand all phases of wear and re- a proper princely touch, companies carry out their conquests of greed, V/itness the access roads,hurridly pushed through large stands of burn. No heed has been payed to the intricate patterns formed by charred snags that would be a source of pleas­ ure to the mote aesthetic. The mounds of slud­ ge heaped and left without being shovelled back into the drill holes from whence they came provide sore spots immeadiately noticed by ardent admirers of muskeg and buck-brush. The din and racket uttered by man's machines is slowly driving the animal kingdom away from their homeland. Imagine the fright experienced by the Whiskey Jacks and timid rabbits as a compressor starts up close by and precedes to render them quivering bundles of fear dominated by the calous procedures of man. The stark bunkhouses,limited in appreciative design,mar the woodlands and lakeshores. These box-structures clash with the beauty of gently rolling hills of glacial overburden dotted with scrub spruce. Action must be taken to curb the tragic ruin­ ation of the Swim Lake area. Soon Yukon tourists will not venture the 130 wiles by air from Whitehorse to visit Natures Wonderland. The tourist tr-°de will be gone to areas the mining trade has not exploited such as the craggy, rugged, unscenic, common every day St.Elias Range. tain feature flap breast pockets for those odds and ends that men wll] collect while on the job and add to the sporting flavor which is required by the more serious. Some fellows are elagantly ac­ coutered in all Aluminum hard- hats with matching earflaps of sturdy material,designed by Working Stiff they retail for a low 00. SWIM CITY SOLID Swim City will never be a ghost town anxious citizens were informed. The recent moves by a few residents to Cub County do not signify a thing. Swim City will always be here and there • is no reason to ever think it won't be. The re­ cent manufacture of skids ns observed by several persons will not be used to transport our build­ ings to a now site. The skids are being made for members of the united geophvsical crew who are presently conducting a gravity survey. One is HALLOWEEN MAY BE SOON Halloween may be early this year as there promises to be fireworks of unknown magnitude when Dynasty starts to modify its fuel tank farm. The level of the large fuel tanks has dropped to such an extent t%at filling drums on trucks is al­ most impossible. The solution says a Dynasty official is to dig a trench that will lower the ground and therefore the truck th t is being fueled. The only way to break the frozen soil for removal is by the use of dynamite. A series of holes will be drilled in front, of the tanks and then blasted. John S. Brock retired arsonist of fame and flame reouests his vaction at the time of detonation. to n haul hvsita, their lunch on o n ui pin e at a nb t b . e the other really is for big geo- one is for KIKE LOOSES PEEPERS rike Grant lost his glasses yesterday while working. Nov; he will not be able to work because he sees double. Last night he set nieces for thirty neople in the d1ni: g ha11. To- day he has on two shirts two pants and four boots Rude APRIL 1, Thursday SWIM LAKE MEWS HERALD Vol 2 #1 ! NO PAPER YESTERDAY,EDITOR BUSY There was no paper yesterday because the editor was working for a change* ”1 thought I#d work for some change as Alan Kulan said he would give me $2*50 an hour if I took the cat up to the Cub” says the editor*He went on further to say that Kulan has not given him the change yet but has suggested that a change of atmosphere might be in order considering what hap­ pen to the cat en route. Brock was instructed to take the D7&S to the Cub and grade the road while doing so. As you can see in the photograph he was keen to carry out his new job,he even hat his 1 cat-hat1 on and looks very serious if not slightly older. The grader at the time the picture was taken was left one mile south and five miles off the right of way in ravine. The canopy is missing because of circumstances that led to the being left in the' ravine. Brock decided to finish the road without the and is shown here in the picture as he expertly lowers the blade to out a little irregularity on the surf-ce. At the end of the job he said nHey man,ITm a real co&lcat skinner, idler my growsers if I donft C-frame your corner bit an’ steerin’ clutch your frog” DAVIS AND BROCK ON EXPEDITION Davis and Brock went snow- shoèng or snowshoeing or some­ thing that is spelt like that, yesterday. Davis claimed that the best way to tie snowshoes was the Whitehorse style, Brock said that the most effective method was the Ross River way. Both must have been wrong be­ cause after Jmile of travel Brock started to bleed inter­ nally and Davis had fallen down so many times that the top of his head was frost-bit- ten. Aaek Ladue says that the best way to get around in the snow is with a Bombadier,you don’t have to tie a Bombadier on your feet Jack says. a deep grader grader smooth FAIRLEY SAYS APRIL FOOL John Fairley played an original April Fool’s joke on Dynasty. He led them to believe that he was coming into Swim in an aircraft today. All were waiting for him to arrive when he radioed from Whitehorse that he couldn’t make it because of the poor weather. Well the camp fooled him. They radioed a little while later and said that À1 Kulan sold his trunk full of camera equipment to William Peter for fifty cents.April Fink Fairley. SWIM LAKE Skid row CITY HAS ’SKID ROW’ will become a problem says the city fathers, all the skids that are being manufactured here by some of the men are being placed in a row that impedesthe progress of our community.lt is bad to see these men manufacturing articles that will be a drag to our city. If this goes on we all may end up sliding down the road. JO TRYING TO SELL SLIDES HARMANS CAMP BUSHED It is reported that; he members of Andy’s camp are bushed. As most of you know they; are camped in Cub Couj nty and have a big clearing around their) campsite. At meal tim4 they play ’drive in restaurent’ a game where the jeep, cat and dog teams draw up in front of the cooktent and switch on their lights. The dog-team drivers use candles. Leas the cool* comes out and takes the orders, then brins the food on trays to each vehicle. Andy savs they are not bushed,it is a way to make him think that he is in an A andW. Lea says ’ ’That big fresh mug” 11 dirty slides us mess is not so good Many persons have been approached by Jo who is trying to taken by himself at Sourdough Rendevous. The dirty slide bi he says,but so^e fail to realize that I also have some dirty slides taken around Swim Lake. People interested in getting duplicates of Jo’s slide collection should contact him or see his agent. Some of his slides are so dirty that tbev are not even transparent, not even the most powerfull projector could get light through them. NEW AQUARIUM IN RESTAURENT Reg and his assistant have started an aquarium in a forty five gallon drum in the restaurent. Featured at the moment are forms of water life captured from local waters,most of the snecies are small and not harmful when ^runk by humans If persons are interested in drinking out of the aquarium they should instal filter in their throats in order to catch some of the olsrtiife in the water which if consummed in large quantities could lead to over-forestation of the stomach and intestinal tract.